I just finished reading Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly. When I got to this quote that she included in her end notes my breath caught in my throat. I had to pause the audio book and almost had to pull over. I had just spent the last week telling those in my support system, "I'm ready to journey, but where the hell am I going? It's all too much, I just want to know where I'm headed!"
It can be overwhelming to commit to the journey, to decide that you are defining your life for yourself and not living by the parameters that mark off the "acceptable" and "desirable" path for life. Even more arresting was that I realized I have asked for this challenge.
I was a pretty nerdy kid through school. I was never invited to parties, wasn't included in the "popular crowd" but I somehow managed to find myself on the Sophomore Homecoming Court which necessitated me wobbling across the football field at the game, escorted by my dad (they were very cute heels, I hadn't planned on the field aeration factor...). Each of us had to choose a quote that we liked that they would read over the stadium sound system as we crossed. These varied widely from Bob Dylan to Cheech and Chong - I of course chose Emerson:
This all struck me at once as the now silent car sped forward in spite of the fact that my brain had stalled out along the road about a mile ago. I WAS FULLY RESPONSIBLE for the experience that I was now having. Only I was to blame for this precarious trek I was now traveling. Be careful what you wish for indeed...
But you know what? It is what I want. I am still not a seasoned traveler. I still feel anxious when I can't see what is over the next hill - or sometimes even what is beyond the next step. But it is true that I would be bored sitting along the side of the path. It is true that I don't feel like I fit into the pre-fabricated paths offered to us all by default.
And I know I'm not the only one. I know you travelers are out there and that you are forging your paths as well. You are walking that undefined life and learning to 'weather' all of the surprises that come with it. Good for you. Keep up the fight. And I challenge you to question what you have asked for (that you may be struggling against). It doesn't really make it easier, but it can help you relocate that enthusiasm that you may have lost when you forgot that this was all your choice.
Appreciate your journey, lovelies. Embrace the endeavor that you have defined for yourself; enjoy the results.
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What path have you chosen for yourself? Do you still love the journey? Give us your tips for forging ahead!